While my American patriotism soars through a second Olympiad week, one Weekend Update host hobbles through a rocky week of his own. Whichever NBC executive shipped Colin Jost off to Tahiti to cover Olympic surfing puts Jack Donaghy to shame. After sipping mai-tais on air and taking us through pre-recorded montages of Tahitian exploration, Jost 1.) tore his feet up on the island reefs which led him to 2.) deliver all his segments barefoot which led to 3.) a staph infection that sent him home early. Hang ten, my gnarly king.